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공지사항

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리더에게는 나르시즘이 있을 수 있다. 만약 강력한 리더십으로 조직을 장악한다면 나르시즘은 더 번창할 기회를 얻을 것이다. 이러한 리더에게 코칭은 어떤 영향력을 끼칠 수 있을까? 이미 조직원들에게나 주변인들에게 무조건적인 수용을 받고 있는 자기애가 지나친 사람을 코치는 무조건 수용해 주어야 할 것인가? 수용해 주었을 때 당사자는 자신의 자기애에 대한 객관적인 성찰을 할 수 있을까? 


조직의 리더에게 자기애가 위험한 이유는 그 조직을 지속할 만한 객관성이 유지되기 어려운 이유에서 이다. 자기애가 강한 리더는 조직에서 역동을 일으키는데 그것은 조직원들이 어렸을 때 부모에게 했던 이상화를 리더에게 되풀이 하는 것으로 나타난다. 어렸을 때 신과 같았던 부모의 형상을 카리스마가 강한 리더에게 투사하면서 이상화된 부모를 따르는 아이의 역할이 되풀이 되는 것이다. 


To be continued...

Posted by SuperFineToe

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뉴욕주립대

코칭 / 2013. 11. 11. 17:44

뉴욕주립대 송도 캠퍼스 겨울방학 전 3주를 남겨놓고 있다.

나도 늙은 나이에 학교다니면서 개인과제 와 그룹발제로 논문읽으랴 문서작업하랴 

진 빠진다. 귀여운 것들... 공부 못 해도 좋다. 꿈꾸며 무럭무럭 자라나 다오~





Posted by SuperFineToe

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Want to Be Happier? Stop Doing These 10 Things Right Now

Happiness—in your business life and your personal life—is often a matter of subtraction, not addition. Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following things.


Blaming


People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time. So you blame them for your problems. But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering—because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time. And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.


Impressing


No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things—but that doesn't mean they like you. Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.


Clinging


When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you. An absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.


Interrupting


Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say."

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. They'll love you for it—and you'll love how that makes you feel.


Whining


Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better. If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.

Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on. Friends don't let friends whine—friends help friends make their lives better.


Controlling


Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog. Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure—none of those let you feel good about yourself. Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships. And all of you will be happier.


Criticizing


Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons. That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you. Just like everyone else—including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people—and yourself—in a better light.


Preaching


Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging. The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything—and to tell people everything you think you know.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.


Dwelling


The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go. Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.


Fearing


We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by. And so do our dreams. Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step. Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything. Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.


Today is the most precious asset you own—and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.


Be Happier: 10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now |Inc.


원문http://lifehacker.com/5991218/want-to-be-happier-stop-doing-these-10-things-right-now

 

 

Posted by SuperFineToe

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